Friday, 8 July 2016

What it feels like...to feel indescribable chemistry


It's Thursday. Thirsty Thursday to be exact. And you are having a blast with your friends at some crowded happy hour bar. You stopped counting your drinks, and you are just in a good mood. You hit that perfect level of tipsy where you feel invincible, where you feel sexy, where you feel you can do anything and talk to anyone

Wait. Is that your ex from 2010 walking pass you? Why yes it is. Is he married with a kid now? Why yes he is. Let's go say hi. #invincible.

Talk talk talk talk. He seems happy to see you. Mentions that you are a bit tipsy. Is it that obvious? I guess it's the energy. The energy you can give off when all insecurities are no longer an issue is electrifying (go Grease Lightninnng...). You are on your game.

And then.

Someone. Some random someone pulls your sunglasses off your shirt. You know, when you folded them on to your top. So of course. you turn around, trying to see what this person wants to do with your Ray Bans.

You turn around. At first you don't recognize him. But. It's him. This is no random person.

Oh Shit.

It's hard to define this relationship you have with this someone. But it's one that probably bothered you the most. It's the relationship that you know you shouldn't keep in your life, but the magnetism between the 2 of you is strong, it's almost disturbing. You both argue like crazy, yet both care about each other like crazy. You know that you'd probably do anything for this other person, but you decided to stop talking because seriously, the arguing was too frequent. Even when you decided that being friends was a better outcome for the 2 of you, you'd still argue.

Arguments about values, lifestyle, cars, stupid stupid things. You are both hard headed. That doesn't make a good mix.

He drives you the most crazy, you know that rationally, there is NO WAY you would ever want to be in a relationship with him.

Yet.

It had been 6 months since you last spoke, since you last argued. Someone who you used to speak to every other day.

As your ex left the conversation, walked away...right then and there, it seemed like you and Mister Passion there, had never fought at all. It seemed like in the most crowded bar in the city, you were alone.

Of course, the tipsiness in both you helped you forget the past, remember the true essence of why you were this close. Because at the true core, both of you were drawn to each other. You were meant to learn something from each other.

He takes you in his arms, squeezes you with all his might, like he might never let you go.

"I don't even remember the last time I hugged someone like that before" he tells you.

You simply can't take your hands off him. He can't take his hands off you. This serene moment in your relationship where you wish it could have been like this every day, all the time.

You look in to each other's eyes, mumble some stuff.  You catch up. And both go your separate ways. Before meeting again by the bar. Like magnets. Drawn back to each other.

"Should I kiss you?" he tells you. Probably joking. So you hold his face, you pull him in close, and right before kissing him on the lips, just how you would have wanted it to go, you kiss him on the neck. Let's hope your red lipstick doesn't leave a mark. You're not in the home wrecker business.

"What do you want from me?" You ask him.

"We can't be friends." he tells you.

You're hurt. Of course. But you agree. You don't feel as invincible. How can 2 people with this kind of relationship be friends? This isn't sustainable.

You let him go. Hoping to never bump in to him again.

You watch him walk out, to his girlfriend, to his life. And remember that there is such a thing as indescribable chemistry, and that you just need to find it in someone else who will be right for you.

N.

*NB. All stories are embellished of course!