Sunday, 28 December 2014

We can resist everything, except temptation. PART I



You are Christmas-partied out.

You would certainly win the award for the most family Christmas parties in a week. First, you spend the 23rd with his mom’s family, the 24th, you spend it with your mom and her family, the 25th is split between his dad and your dad, the 26th you are seeing the rest of your mom’s family who was busy on the 23rd. You can’t take it anymore. One more party he tells you. With his dad’s work buddies, that is kind of a tradition, but you put your foot down. Enough is enough and you convince him to go alone. How you managed that, you’re not too sure, but you’re pretty damn proud of yourself. FREEDOM. You rejoice.

It’s Saturday night, and you are free.

Your best friend texts you. Damas tonight?

Sure why not. You can certainly be a great wing woman at one of the best clubs in town.

You haven’t seen her a couple weeks, she’s had her fair share of family parties too. You pick out a killer outfit. Hey. It’s a night on the town and you want to look smashing, not for anyone but yourself. You pull out the red lipstick, your knee high boots, your kind of transparent black blouse that you have been dying to wear for some time, and you head over to her place for some pre-drinks.

Oh Champagne with a friend has never tasted so good. Your friend looks awesome too. You both are feeling good, feeling fierce. It’s going to be a good night.

You get to Damas. There’s a little line-up. You hate line-ups. Yet have no fear, 2 bad bitches are here! Of course you cut through the line. Of course your best friend knows the bouncer.

You walk in, and the lights are dimmed low. Everyone looks hot. The men. The girls. The bartenders. You’re smiling like it’s your birthday. Of course the boys are looking at you. Why wouldn’t they.

And then.

You spot him. At one of the tables with friends, a bottle of Goose, a few girls around them.

Shit.

Pete.

WTF is Pete doing here? Like seriously. WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Your heart starts to beat a little faster, and faster and faster. Shit shit shit. You turn to your best friend. And you whisper. “Pete is here.” She turns to you with big eyes. “Pete, as in THE SUMMER PETE”. “Yes. THE SUMMER PETE”.

Shit shit shit.

Pete was your summer love. Your 2010 summer love. You met him on a boat up north with some friends, and you both instantly clicked. He taught you how to wakeboard, he took you on picnics, he made sweet, oh very sweet, love to you outside overlooking the water, the sunset and the moon (yes, you know what moment when you see both in the sky.) You got your heart broken when he told you he was leaving for Vancouver for work come September. You wanted him to take you with him. You wanted him to tell you he loved you. You wanted him to be your world. Pete didn’t want. And like any good summer love, it came to end. It took you months to get over it, until you finally met Josh, who was great, kind, funny, manly, smart. All the criteria you were looking for in a man.

But now, you could only see Pete. He looked as good now as he did 4 years ago. Jeans, white crisp shirt, sports jacket, red pocket square. Damn. His style evolved. No more board shorts and Quicksilver t-shirts. His smile.  Still the same. You can’t help but stare.

Do you go up to him? No, that’s too dangerous. But you are dying to. You didn’t know you could still feel so much for someone you haven’t seen in 4 years.

You turn your head back to the bar. You can’t do this. You need to stay away.You love Josh. It’s written DANGER all over it. Maybe he has a girlfriend; maybe one of the girls there with him is his girlfriend.

You can’t seem to stop turning your head towards his table. He glances towards you. You both smile.

Shit shit shit shit.

He saw you. He’s walking over.

Fuck he’s so good looking.

He comes right up to you, and your heart may explode out of your chest. SHIT WOMAN, CHILL THE FUCK OUT, you try to tell yourself, but that ain’t working.

“Hi you. Merry Christmas!”

He seriously thinks he can just walk over here, no news in 4 years, and expect me to be all nice and kind to him? 

Yes. He clearly does. Damn man. 

He gives you the 2 kisses, same to your best friend, who he of course remembers.

You start to chit chat. Of course he’s in town for the Holidays to visit his folks. Of course he tells you how great you look, of course he cracks jokes with you and your friend.

He invites you and your friend to the table with his buddies. You know a few of them from back in the day, and you all start drinking together. DANGER. DANGER.

Your best friend hits it off with one of his friends, and they migrated their way to the bar for some one on one time. And you, you’re at the table with Pete and his friends. You are trying to play it cool.

He finally asks you. So. Are you seeing anybody ?

Shit shit shit shit.

You answer: Yeah kinda.

“Yeah kinda”???? You aren’t “Yeah kinda” seeing  Josh. You two live together, you two do numerous Christmas parties together. “Yeah kinda”. You can’t even believe those words would come out of your mouth.

You need to get the hell out before you make a mistake. You can feel it. You know that if you stay, danger will happen.

You think fast. You make a quick jolt to the bathroom. You can’t leave your friend alone. She’s killing it with this guy, yet it’s still early to leave her with him.  

You walk out of the bathroom 15 minutes later. Hoping that you gained a bit of time. He’s standing there. Right at the bathroom. “I was just making sure you were OK, you were gone for quite some time…!” he says. “Yes, yes very fine. All is stellar.”

He corners you, back to the wall.

Oh shit.

He’s staring down at you. And you are just staying there. Not moving. Not fighting. Damn you alcohol that can make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

He holds your waist. And drops his head by your ear, and whispers, “I really missed you”.

And makes his way to your lips. Kissing them so passionately. For a second, you lose all senses. You feel his lips against yours. His tongue caressing yours. You can’t help but finish that first kiss, and pull him in closer for another. Your eyes are closed, your lips are like magnets. Your bodies are pulled in close. You can’t seem to move away. You don’t want to be away. You feel like you’re kids again, making out like teenagers in the hallway at Damas. 

And then. In mid kiss. You finally gain the courage to pull away.

“No Pete. I can’t do this. I missed you too, but I’m with someone now. I love him.”

He also takes a step back. “I’m sorry, I couldn't help myself.” he tells you.

You nod back at him, and at that moment, like a movie, your friend comes prancing in to the bathroom. “Oh, you’re still here? I thought you left!”

“Ha. No I’m still here, but I’m leaving now. I want to get back to my home.”

You kiss Pete on the cheek. He walks you to the coatcheck. You say good bye to your 2010 summer.

You hop in a cab, and head straight home, wondering a little about the “What if…!” You check your phone, no messages from Josh. You text him that you’re on your way home.

You step inside your home, make your way to your bedroom. You just want to cuddle with Josh.

But the bed is empty.  

Where’s Josh?

Your phone buzzes. It’s Josh.

“Came by Damas to surprise you. I think I was the one who was surprised. Hope he was worth it.”

Shit shit shit shit shit shit.

To be continued...

N.