Sunday, 30 March 2014

Why I am taking a break from my passion...

In my recent visit to the library (yes. I go to the library), I decided to pick up the Sex and the City. In the last 3 weeks, I have watched Season 1 & 2. I had forgotten how much I LOVED this show. The girls, the subject matters, the men, the 1999 fashion. All of it. I had forgotten how my blog is so similar. But. As I watched SATC (Sex and the City...), I realized something I hadn't noticed before. Never does  Carrie ever get questioned by her friends or flings about the subjects she writes about. People simply rave about her column, but never question it. Never seem to be upset that they are featured in it. Never do her columns affect her personal life. I constantly deal with this issue.

I am often asked (especially by the special men in my life for some odd reason), why are you keeping your thoughts so surface, you have so much more to offer, you have so much more to say. Yes, but I can't. Call me a pussy. I just don't want to expose myself too much, yet by doing this, I'm not staying true to myself. I have noticed that my best blogs, are ones of real tales, of real life experiences I lived through. My most relatable, most entertaining, most commented ones are the ones where my life is out there. For everyone to see. Judge. Yet, the posts that teach you something, that allow me to express my inner thoughts completely expose me. My feelings, my emotions, my way of thinking, all exposed for the world to see. Where is the fun in getting to know someone if you can simply type and know pretty much everything. The men I date question my subject matters (why are you talking about THAT), my friends worry that someone will recognize their story, my life is not private. I'm not private. I lose all mysteriousness. I love writing, I love writing about relationships, people, experiences, lessons learned, yet at what cost. If I write, I want it to be real. To be meaningful. I want my thoughts to move you, shake you. Not simply entertain you for a couple minutes. 

This is why, I have decided to take a break from this blog I love so much. I decided I chose my privacy over this passion. I want someone to know me by the words I speak, and not by the words I write available for the world to see. I want to be genuine, authentic to me. And it's not by writing about 8 Things I think Men Should Own, that I will achieve that.

But - this isn't a good bye, this is simply a see you soon. I hope you all understand how much I have loved being part of your discussions, your lives. Your support has truly meant so much to me, and has kept me writing for 4 years. But don’t you worry, writing is my passion, you haven’t seen the end of me. You haven’t seen the end of What It Feels Like For a Girl. This girl has a lot in store for you. For now, this girl feels like she wants to keep things private.

So thank you. Thank you for being amazing. Thank you for giving me ideas and making me love what I do. It has truly been an amazing ride.  But now, Im just at a rest area. Be sure to see me back on the highway soon!