Friday, 24 January 2014

You have No Value Added.

As I sat for coffee with a friend going over all my latest conquests (men that is), I was thoroughly disappointed with the mix. 
He mentioned: "You know N. They have no NVA."
- NVA? I asked
- Yes. No Value Added, he answered me. They don't bring anything interesting to your life. 
And then I sat with another friend who discussed the same issue but called it ZVA (Zero Value Added), he actually enjoyed the use of the Z in the acronym. Clearly this is a known concept. 

I know I can be picky. Especially when it comes to the male department. What woman who is turning 30 in 1 month (actually 2 weeks, but just let me live my 20s as long as I can) isn't a little picky with the type of man she lets into her life? I know what I'm looking for and I have yet to have found it. So in the mean time, I browse, and I fall on these "Vanilla" "NVA" men, and some that are just plain old creepy, (if ONLY I could show you some of the texts I receive, you all would be DYING) in the process of finding the right one that will be EVA (Extra Value Added! - yeah..a little cheesy, it's all good).

So, what does NVA mean exactly for me? 
  • When texting...
A lot can be told by a person just in the way they text. These are the men that text me but have nothing interesting to say, that bring nothing interesting to the conversation. I'm not looking for a stand-up comedian here, but at least someone that can keep up with my wittiness without becoming too weird. Texting is an art. If done properly, the return is awesome. So. For all you men reading, yeah I know it's not easy to always be on your game, but don't make it too easy for the woman. Let her want more, want to get to know you more. The mystery is key. Being all like: wow you are the best person not good
  • Face to face 
If he lacks interesting subjects of conversation, he's out. Wittiness goes a long way. I hate the question: "So what do you do in life?". HATE IT. If I can spend the entire evening with you and not know what you do then you're on the right track. I always answer the most random answers when asked. My favorite right now is "Dancer". Unluckily for me, I told a guy that I was a salsa teacher on Wednesdays and he answered: "No way, I take salsa on Wednesdays too" and he proceeded to show me videos of his salsa classes.....#Facepalm.

Dating is like shopping for jeans. A good man for you is like a great pair of jeans. Women. I know you know what I mean. There isn't a harder task than finding those perfect pair of jeans that don't give you a muffin top, make your legs look like Popsicle sticks and give you the finest ass in the world. Before finding that "Ultimate Pair of Jeans", we try on A GAZILLION of them. We might try on 10 pairs in the store, buy some, wear them a little, not like them, throw them out, buy another, wear them until they are falling a part. 
So many jeans, but which fit you best.

Lately, I have been dealing with dull pair of jeans, jeans that don't actually look bad, but that don't bring out my best features.When we are trying on jeans, some of them are just blah. They have no "Added Value". Some just lack that extra somethin somethin that give you a reason to want to wear them. This applies to men. Men with NVA (or ZVA)
They can be nice. 
They can be kind and caring. 
But do they make you tick? Do they make you want to see them again, and again, and again? Do they make you laugh uncontrollably? Do they have something interesting to say? Do they make you smarter? Do they teach you anything?

To find that EVA (Extra Value Added!) is quite a shitty process. But it's so important to stop seeing an NVA man before it gets too intense. To stop leading them on before they start wanting too much from you. Yes, the company is nice and it's nice to date someone and spend your Friday nights with someone. But - no need to keep a dull pair of jeans in your closet, just throw them out and make room for that sexy pair of jeans that makes you look like a queen!

But then again, it's like sales (I'm clearly all about metaphors today), you need a bunch of leads before actually getting a sale. So it's a numbers game clearly, at one point, there will be that man, that one with that EVA that will make me laugh, smile, dance and who I will want to laugh, smile and dance with for a long time. Until then. I keep trying on those jeans until I find my favorite pair.



KG said...

Good post :)

The concept of value is tricky. The value shown may not be value you care about and the value he/she has but yet show could be something you care about. Takes time to draw out.

Natalie Courey said...

KG - thanks for the comment! I totally agree with what you say. Different strokes for different folks. What may be NVA to me, may not be for someone else... and the value that someone may show at first may be different than what I care about! Good point! Thanks for commenting..once again! :)