Sunday, 22 December 2013

Feeling the Holiday Blues...

Don't get me wrong. I love the Holidays. One is never too old for Santa!
I have often been told that you can tell what mood I am in just by reading the posts that I publish. It's Sunday. It's been a long week. Do excuse me. But you know what they say, better to be real than a piece of plastic! (Thats not really what they say, I totally invented that, but hey, it's true!)

No one ever likes to show a strand of weakness, being emotional, feeling down, feeling under the weather seems to always be frowned upon. Boys when they are young are told not to cry, that it makes them look like wimps, as with girls, we keep on being told “Big Girls Don’t Cry”. We have been taught to hide our emotions, to show only the good stuff, to fake it if we must. Just take a look at your Facebook newsfeed. It always seems to be positive, except for the occasional “Attention Seeker” who would write something like “What a shit day today”, who we all seem to judge as the said “Attention Seeker”. When we are feeling low, we hide it. We say all is good. We pretend. We can all be great actors, some better than others, some more trained than others.

I feel like Christmastime seems to be the time that most emotions are felt, when we start to put on that act. Whether you are facing troubles with end of year numbers, lack of relationship during this “joyeous” season or even family issues, we hide the sad, and put on a fun Christmas sweater, and pretend we are A-OK! 

We tend to feel so much more during the holidays. We realize the fragility of our emotions during this season.

I can totally relate. I have always been the one to support the Christmas spirit. Whether it’s the Christmas songs playing on my Songza while decorating my Christmas tree and stockings over my fireplace. The idea of a perfect Christmas is something I always strive for. Since I was a little girl, I would get so excited for this season, except for braving rude, pushy, and horrible traffic, running around buying presents for my family and friends of course! I love buying gifts. But I wish I was a bit more organized, did this early and bought everything online!

I would find comfort coming home, turning off all the lights, and admiring my lit tree. I do it to make me happy. But I would love to share these moments with someone special. Would I love to spend an evening listening to Christmas carols, decorating my tree with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and my man. 
My beautiful Christmas tree! I gotta say. Im quite proud! :)


This year, I have stayed away from the movie Love, Actually, I haven’t listened to as many Christmas carols as I have in the past but seem to look to my lit tree for answers, for comfort. 

This season seems to remind me that not being with someone during this time, is. well. not so easy. I may be blessed with amazing friends and family. But still. 

I may feel this way because of all the Marketing around how you SHOULD live the holidays. It's still hard to see past the current stigmas, and really be capable of creating a new way to live the Holidays, without that special soemone, and be content with what I have.  

And you know what, it’s ok to feel shitty. 

We try to hold on to special moments for longer than they should last, especially during the holidays. We try to find comfort in people’s arms we shouldn't really find comfort in.  Evenings by the fireplace, which may seem so whimsical, want to be shared with someone you can lie down next to. We are jealous of the ones who seem happy, in love and worry about what they need to buy their boyfriends for Christmas.

As a good rational writer, I would tell you that we should focus on the good, on the good people in our life, on our friends and family, on the season of giving back to those that have been so good to you, or those who may not be as lucky as you. 

As all this would be true. Damn. I should convince myself of this. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, instead of being told how to feel during the Holidays, it’s ok to just feel the right emotion you are feeling

We shouldn't drown ourselves in sadness though. Someone once told me: To not feel lonely, you must be active. So my best advice for those feeling the Holiday blues, be active. It may only patch that emotion, but at least, you will have fun doing it!

On a better note, because man, being real can sometimes be depressing. I do wish you all wonderful Holidays, full of fun activities!

Merry Christmas lovelies!


N. 

1 comment:

Cheeronicax said...

I'm just going to go right ahead and say it.... I've cried every year at Christmas time, each year of my adult life!

Each year for a different reason: I'm single, I'm too fat, I didn't get the gift I wanted (so ashamed of this one).

Than something happened this year and this is why I am sharing...

I started to feel the way I felt around Christmas time (sad, lonely, hopeless)earlier in the year. Around late October. And that made me question my mood and myself and of course the reasons why I had those feelings so early in the year.

You know those moments when you realize something and you wish you could got back in time to tell your past self about it? (I have lots of those moments lol)

I figured out why I always felt this way every year!!! I did!

It had nothing to do with Christmas really. Nor my situation, my weight or anything like that.

I had the simple, cruel, undeniable WINTER BLUES!

SOLUTION LADIES: Light therapy! It works! It does!

I can assure you this year if I cry, it will be tears of joy!

Hoping this can help! Happy Holidays Nat! Thank you for always sharing!