Sunday, 24 November 2013

What turns men off!


For my loyal readers, I'm sorry that I haven't written sooner, I have been doing lots of introspection, lots of working on "me". I have been spending time with the important people in my life, filtering out the ones that aren't. I have also started writing a novel which should be ready by Summer 2014 - all good things to come! So sometimes it's nice to stop being so serious and have a little fun - and this is what this post is all about - some fun stuff!


Here's a little follow up to the post I wrote about What Turns Men On.
I surveyed many men via e-mail, parties, texts, phone calls and so on. I think I contacted over 50 men to get their input on the question : What turns men off! I know I know, it's quite a vague question, but that was the point, I wanted to see what people would tell me, what came to mind when they thought of it. And here are my findings...I mixed in some funny ones with some normal ones!

1st MALE TURN OFF: Insecurity/Indecision
This one came out a lot in different forms, whether it was "I can't stand a girl who doesn't know what she wants" or "I can't stand a girl that nags me all the time", or "I can't stand a girl that can't make up her own mind" or "I can't stand a girl who's jealous" - All these lead to same thing: insecurity/indecision. I can't blame them, I hate a guy that's insecure or who can't make up his mind. I think it's all about knowing who you are, what you like and being able to speak up about it. It's also about knowing your worth, knowing what you want - because then you get worried what the other person will think of you. If that other person doesn't like what you stand for, well then, you shouldn't like that person.

2nd MALE TURN OFF: Women who wear too much make-up
Well this one came out a lot. A LOT. The thing is, it's not that men don't like women with make-up, it's that they don't like when it's too dramatic, and even at that, it can still look pretty sexy on a girl. I did the test a few years ago when I was dating a guy. He told me : N. I hate too much make-up. So, on one of our dates, I went without anything. Oh yes. I did that. And I was like. See. This is me with NOZING. And of course, he told me how beautiful I was and so on. A week later, I was hosting a big event and he came. I was dressed to the nines, all made-up and his face dropped. He couldn't stop telling me how great I looked. So really - this whole make-up thing is a load of BS. It just needs to look good, bring out your features and not look like some kinda drag queen!

3rd MALE TURN OFF: Women who smoke
Yes, well we have all heard that before. This isn't news. But here's my 2 cents. Do what you want. You wanna smoke. Do it. You'll be with someone that doesn't mind it. I think it's important to be true to yourself, but then again.. smoking is bad.

4th MALE TURN OFF: Women who drink too much beer
This one made me laugh a little. I know a couple women that are beer drinkers and that's their thing. I don't mind a Heineken or a Corona from time to time. But I guess it's something that is a bit more masculine and our femininity is what makes our charm. Then again. Remember. These turns offs apply to some people. I wouldn't consider them THE LAWS OF MEN or anything. So - hey you. you beer drinker - keep doing that shit! ;)

5th MALE TURN OFF: Women that aren't punctual
This one hit home. I happen to be someone who isn't always on time (my friends can attest to that). This is something I am working on A LOT. Someone told me something interesting about this...When you are late, you are basically saying that your time is more important than them. That really isn't a way to treat to people. Of course, a grace period of a couple minutes is OK, but when it goes to 30 min, 1 hour, etc. That's unacceptable. Yes, of course you should notify. But being late is a big lack of disrespect whether it's in a relationship or in a friendship.

6th MALE TURN OFF: Women who advertise their self-importance
I loved this answer: I hate the ones that need to always advertise what they are doing, where they are, me me me me me. I find the women I am the most attractive to are the one who are completely confident in their own skin and go about their days. They keep a certain mystery to themselves that in the end makes me want to get to know them more. Not less. Well said M. well said. I think all this relates back to authenticity as well. Be proud of who you are without having to show it off to the world. Be authentic to who you are without trying to look like something you are not. That's just good advice in general!

Here are a few other honorable mentions:
1. Ugly feet that aren't taken care of
2. Flashy purses
3. Weird piercings and tattoos
4. Drunk girls - that are ALWAYS DRUNK and get sick all the time
5. Fake anything - boobs, lips, etc.
6. Too dependent
7. Women that don't do any type of sports / working out (It's so important to take care of oneself)
8. Flakiness
9. Women who talk while having sex
10. Mentally slow
11. Women that ask men : what turns you off (hahaha this one made me laugh! Thanks A.)

And I could go on!!!

All to say, that yes, a lot of men have different types of things they don't like about women. And women have tons of things they don't like about men (that post is coming soon!). To me, the most important thing is that not everyone will like the things you do, or don't do, but the most important is to be true to yourself. When you feel good in your own skin, when you are happy, when you don't need to prove anything to anyone, that's when you are the sexiest, and if someone don't like it.. well too effing bad. ;)

Do you have any turn offs you want to add to the list? This time, it's totally anonymous, so you can totally say anything you want in the comments below!

SPECIAL THANK YOU to all the men that helped me out with this post. You guys are awesome!!! :)

N.

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