Saturday, 1 June 2013

Dealing with multi-dating!



Summer is back! It's "Take out those hot heels, pretty summer dresses" time! Time to sip glasses of wine with friends on a terrace, time to soak in the rays, sit by the pool, by the lake, or where ever you want to sit by, time to pull out your bike, rollerblades, hiking, running or walking shoes, time to get your butt out there are start meeting men, women whatever floats your boat. I don't judge!

When it comes to summer and dating, I encourage it all the way. See many people. Taste the fish in the sea. Experience and live it up! 

BUT.

When does it become not right to still be seeing 2-3-4 people at the same time? When is it ok to do so? What are the limits? How to manage a few men or women at the same time? These questions I find quite interesting. 

I am in the line of thought that it's OK to see a few people at the same time, to date not more than 2, and then of course a relationship is just with 1. That's my idea of what I can accept. BUT. Of course, the trick is. No one should know about the other someones. The result is horrid. We always want to be the most special in someone's life. 

"I don't mind being someone's #2" - Said no one ever. (Unless it's a polygamist society or something...!)

Even when we are casually seeing a person, we don't want to know about the other person's conquests. We don't want to know that they are sleeping with a few other women, or going on dates with other women, or chatting with other women. And. we certainly don't want them communicating with these other women while we are around! 

You meet a beautiful man at Burgundy Lion on Wednesday night. He's cool, fun, funny, has great friends, thinks you're hot stuff. You guys talk, go on a couple dates. It's very casual, but still romantic. You decide to spend a day at the park, biking, walking, ice cream, lunch or whatever with this guy. And then you notice that he's texting other women, with you there. 

Are you allowed to be upset? It's casual right? He doesn't owe you anything really. Except for respect. So yes. Hells yes you should be upset. 

When spending time with someone special, it's only respect not to text other women that he may be seeing, dating, sleeping with, or other. His attention should be focused on you, and only you. And maybe a couple guy friends he texts telling them how AWESOME you are :)

Come to think of it. 

In my opinion, we have the right to be upset, but the fact that this other person is communicating with other people while with you means that "he's just not that into you", or "she's just not that into you". If they were, they wouldn't even THINK to communicate with other people, they would be enjoying your company so much, your laugh, your personality, and would want to spend as much time as possible getting close to you, instead of maintaining some kind of contact with other prospects. 

And of course, you would be doing the same, putting the other men that you are sorta kinda seeing on hold while spending time with this one. Enjoy to the fullest the time together. 

I even asked a friend of mine who was seeing a few men: So, when you are with F., do you ever text S. or T.? She told me NO! But when I'm with T., I do text F. So I asked her...Why? She answered very simply.. because I like F. more than T. 

"Sorry Hun, you're cool, but not enough for me to stop communicating with other people while I'm with you". That's the message I'm getting if someone were to do that to me. Ouch. 

Do you agree? I am sure that other people have different opinions about this subject. Do you REALLY think it's OK to communicate with other people while you are on a date with another? Or while you are spending quality time together? Since it's casual, anything goes? Let me know what you think!

So for this summer - make sure to spend time with people that put you as their PRIORITY, not their option!

Happy "LOOK HOT FEEL HOT BE HOT" Summer!

N. 

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