Sunday, 5 May 2013

Making those tough decisions...


Want to listen to it instead? Listen here! (This is a trial - let me know what you think!)
As I sit on my balcony in this beautiful weather, gazing at the trees in full bloom, listening to the birds and kids play in the street (yes I live in quite the residential area…), I smile. I smile because of the sun, the heat on my skin (finally. Damn was that winter long). I smile because there are just things I can't control so why frown. I smile because I need to. I smile because there is no point on dwelling on the past, and only worth looking forward from now on. I am listening to some soulful Erykah Badu who is a soul goddess. And I’m starting to feel fine. Finally.


This past month has been one of the most “soap opera” ones of my life, whether it was related to my things, my friends things, family things. Up, down and all around, I’m sure I would make millions if I sold my story to Jerry Bruckheimer (don’t know him. Look him up) I am not writing this to tell you this story, I want to protect the people involved. No one really deserves to have their story published like this out in the open. But if there is one thing I learned from this all, is that I love the entertainment of a drama story, but boy do I hate it when it happens to me. I need to focus on keeping my life simple, that’s when I am the happiest.

I dealt with issues of the heart, friendships and now the home that I lived in for over 20 years is up for sale. All those memories, all those good times, my childhood, my teenage years…and this separation is so hard. It’s like. Wow. All this stuff is overwhelming…

Like most things, like keeping my family home, they come to an end, whether you like it or not. You make decisions that you know you will benefit from in the future even though the immediate repercussions are shit. It’s the right thing for my parents to leave the house when the market is good, even though they aren’t really ready. It’s a good thing to bid farewell to a relationship you know is going nowhere even though you still have feelings for that person. It’s a good thing to nurture your good friendships and put aside those that aren’t worth your time even though you don’t really dislike those other people, it’s a good thing to clear the negative from your life, and only allow the positive even though making that change requires lots of effort.

I am learning that making decisions before the issue gets out of hand is important, especially when you know the outcome. I am learning that life gives me a set of tests that I need to pass in order to achieve greatness. Greatness in my love, friendship and work life. The harder the tests, the greater the return. 

I will let you in on a little piece of advice I was given by someone who told me – life is like your education. You do your elementary school, high school, CEGEP, undergrad and each step is always harder than the next, but with each step you gain more. You gain more knowledge, more opportunities, more understanding of how our world works. As you continue your education to your Masters, PhD and so forth, the challenges get harder and achieving “greatness” is harder and harder because you are always seeking something more until you are comfortable in the status that you are in. So let’s say, putting in those extra hours, those extra long nights weekends and extra work to get that promotion, or calling it quits with someone you aren’t really happy with but that is very nice, or putting your family house on the market when you know the market will crash in the next few years are all tough issues we need to deal with in order to reach that next level of greatness because we know that we always want better for ourselves. 

I think of this every time I need to make a hard decision that I know is right for me in the long run – the return will be greater. So I look at my decisions, at my issues and I ask myself: Do I want better? My inner voice always knows the right answer and I try my best to listen to it. It sometimes takes time to gather the courage to act, but one day I will, when I am ready. I will pass my test and start a new semester. :)

On that note, I need to take in some more of these rays, and enjoy that sunlight. There is nothing like spending moments in the sun, a smile and maybe a nice glass of vino that make everything better. As much as I can reason my way into thinking everything is OK, I usually just let myself feel whatever I need to feel, and then one day, one morning, all will be fine!

I'd love to get feedback on how you deal with tough decisions, if you have had to make any, do you follow your heart? your reason? both? Share away!

Have a nice week yall! And Christos Anesti and Happy Easter to all you celebrating today! :)

N.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hello!

I am surprised no one gave you feedback yet, but the voice over blog is a great idea! It adds a level of intimacy and reality to what would otherwise mostly be words on a screen. Especially when the topic is one as personal as this one.

Keep on smiling!

JP