Monday, 20 May 2013

I like you, but not really, but kinda

I got a question to ask you. Yes you. I am talking to the single men and ladies out there. When was the last time that you didn't have a single love interest on your mind or in your life? I can't really speak for men here, but in the case of women, I would say NEVER. We are always thinking about somebody, whether he be the right or wrong person for us. We need it. 

Since my elementary school days, when I used to play outside with my buddies, we played kick ball at recess, I had my eye on the cutest boy in the world, his name was John (names have been changed). John was the cutest boy in school. I was so shy around him that I had invited everyone to my birthday party, and just kept his invitation in my backpack till 1 day before the event because i was too shy to give it to him! After John, came Frank. Frank was the funniest boy, but was sadly "seeing" my best friend at the time. So much for that. And then. And then. And I can keep on naming all the different boys I had crushes on up until this day. There is NOT one period in my life where there wasn't one. Some have lasted longer than others and I just think it was because I hadn't met someone new yet. You know. After 2 years of having a crush on someone. 

Awaye N. 

Get over it and move on the next! 

Come On. No?

But I believe we have this need to love and be loved, this need to think of someone when we go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning, the need to fantasize about someone - even though that this person is probably not the right person for you. Now. How do we know? How do we know if this person is right or wrong and that we are just still hung up on them for no good reason? I think you just know it. Close your eyes and picture yourself with this person in 10 years from now? Is it real? Can you see yourself? Be honest with yourself. Or have you tried everything? Have you gone to the end of what you 2 can be and well it doesn't really work out.. well then you know! 

So why do we have so much trouble realizing that this person isn't right, and move on to the next? Fear of loneliness? Fear of feeling alone? Maybe.

I will share a little insider on my life - I met a man a few years ago, and for 3 years. I wanted him. I had met a few other men in the process, but my feelings and thoughts always went back to him. And then one day, we spent the weekend together, and at that point, I just knew. I knew this was no longer going to work out. (Frankly, the story is more complicated here, but I'm just speaking about my feelings towards him). So after that weekend, I was sure that this wasn't the person I wanted, but I stayed caught up for an extra year before meeting someone new and who allowed me to completely detach myself from this person for good.

That extra year was simply there because I hadn't yet met anyone better. I still thought of him everyday, all the time, even though I knew that there was no outcome to this. The funny thing, is that I don't think we always realize it, realize that we are caught up on the wrong person. And even if we do. We feel happier knowing that we at least have SOMEONE to think of, to spend time with, instead of no one. Because how depressing would that be to have absolutely no one to think of? We are too emotional, we have too much love to give to just not give it to anyone!

This same can also be applicable to relationships. We happen to stick around with someone just because we have no one better. And. I can't say how many times I say this. But. THIS IS SETTLING!!! Re-read my piece on Tough Decisions - that's how you will find better :)

So, I'm not saying that we should stop liking the people we like even though we don't REALLY like them. I think it's just important to be conscious about it and not waste time or energy on something that you don't think will go anywhere. Harness that energy into something else, like a hobby or something!

I would love to get your opinion on why people just like people for the sake of liking! Tell me what you think! I love to hear from you!

On that note, have a great day off (for those that are off)!

N.

(Special shout out to G. for inspiring me to write about this - yes G. is my silent contributor that you will start to hear more from in the future!)

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