Sunday, 14 April 2013

To Stay In or To Go Out, That is the Question!


As I sat for brunch with a friend today, we discussed our teenage reputations, what were we known as? When someone would think of me, what did they say? My friend quickly answered - N. the girl that was friends with everyone.


For those that know me well, or even not that well, you would know that I'm somewhat of a social butterfly. I spent most of my teenage years meeting people, going out, meeting more people, making new friends, starting up conversations with anyone. I am not talking about meeting men or anything, I am talking about general people meeting. I always needed to be out and about. 

Places to be, people to meet was my motto.

Being this social butterfly that I was,  I couldn't miss a night. Saturday night at home? HELLS NO. What would I be missing? The coolest party? A potential prospect? A crazy night out with my friends? I never wanted to miss anything and ALWAYS needed to be surrounded by people. I felt like any night that I stayed in, I would miss something AMAZING. So I always made sure to have plans, to be out, to be dancing, eating, drinking or whatever type of activity that didn't involve me alone at home. I was petrified of being alone. 

I grew up in a family of 6. I was always surrounded by people and I was never alone. I lived with a roommate for 4 years and then decided to move out on my own. I was scared. Would I be lonely? Would I lose my friends? I was single (and still am) and I had heard horror stories of people feeling so alone when living alone. But, I can tell you now, there is no better feeling than waking up or coming home and being in my own home. I blast Swedish House Mafia when I get in, I listen to jazz and bossanova in the evenings and I take a bath with the doors open. I may or may not dance like a crazy person singing along to Michael or Whitney. And I may or may not have had neighbors complaining about it...but I don't care! I can watch TV when I want, be silent when I want, it's the best feeling. I am almost afraid of enjoying being alone too much that when comes the time to live with someone else, I won't be able to! 

But, my issue is not during the weekdays when I have to get up early to work, but on weekends when the city is alive and all I should be doing is galavanting. Or should I? Would I be able to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night, and just take it easy, on my own? Can you? 

As a singleton, you don't want to miss a night out, because you never know who you might meet. A friend keeps on telling me, N. don't go chasing it, it will come to you. So, this Saturday night, like a good girl, I had dinner with my grandparents, came back home, and went to bed. I saw on Facebook all my friends out at Velvet (a Montreal club) - 17 tagged. What was I missing? What am I doing?? I asked myself. As I sat in my pjs watching The Other Guys, I wondered, should I just get dressed and go out? Did I really feel like it? Yes and no. I was exhausted, and listened to my body and stayed in. I woke up this morning feeling energized and had quite the productive day! A few years ago, I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THAT. I feel that I'm - getting old! ha! and realizing that there are nights you can miss. There will always be another party, another event. And hopefully, the man of my dreams will be at the next party! 

What's your take? Do you still feel like you need to be out to not miss anything? I would love to hear from yall and get your perspective on the internal dilemma between listening to your body and to your need to be out because : DAMN IM SINGLE. I can't stay in!! 

Till next time peeps! Can't wait to see what you gotta say!

N.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i had that feeling also regarding facebook
as a single women u cant really be facebook free if u r u might be missing on a potential date

Anonymous said...

Hi!!! I'm single as well and I too feel exactly the same way you do. My two days are Thursday and Saturday, I can't possibly stay in... It feels like I'm missing out and it actually makes me uneasy and nervous. That said, I love my alone time and from time to time I really enjoy spending Saturday night home alone watching a nice movie with some extra buttery popcorn. And while most of the time I am out on the big nights, I'd like to think that when I do find the right girl for me, she too will be ok with a Saturday popcorn movie night.

Natalie Courey said...

I think it would be something interesting to also look into - the whys we can't be alone. For a while, I felt that I would be "uncool" if I stayed in, and then that I would miss something great, and then that I would miss meeting the right person. At the end of the day, I actually like staying home with a good movie and good company. A couple glasses of wine, a comedy, some cuddles and extra buttery popcorn ;)

Anonymous said...

The concept we are actually talking about here is opportunity cost, what's the cost of staying home vs. going out and mingling. I think there is no harm or shame in staying in on a saturday once in a while. I actually enjoy watching movies alone. But to be honest I enjoy them a lot more in the company of someone else, ideally someone very special. Since it's rather unlikely that the special someone will magically knock on my door on saturday night holding a bag of buttery popcorn and announcing themselves as the one, i must be out there in the jungle meeting, mingling, doing my thing. Every night I stay in is a night I won't be out possibly meeting the one. Don't get me wrong either, it's not just about meeting the one, I really enjoy being out with friends and meeting new people - right one or not. But as much fun as that is, a good movie in great company is hard to beat.

Anonymous said...

Life is a series of moments. You are given situations, and your actions depict your future situations. You do not have to spend your life searching for something that has yet to enter your life. All that you know is all that you have seen, felt, smelt, heard, and tasted. All the beauty that has lived in your life is what you yearn to find more of, simply because it is all you subconsciously know exists. You will spend a lifetime searching for something that does not exist in your life. You simply need to cherish the experiences presented to you. If you are focusing on finding 'the one' every night, your life will pass you, because 'the one' lives in everything you have ever sensed. It is all around you. If you spend every living moment with the intention to search for it, you will not see all the beauty that stands before you. It will whisper in your ear every day, and you will brush it away as if it were an annoyance for being so near. You will do this your entire life and, through time, your hands will swat these whispers away with a force as cold as a stone. Acknowledge the beauty around you, live for the experience presented to you. The wealthy man who scoured the new land in quest for gold died in a cave alone trying to earn more than he ever needed. The humble man with no soles on his feet who earned his nickel through begging each day laid his eyes to sleep with two arms holding his head gently on a lap. Only a man who has rocked both sides of the boat knows of the difference blindly sitting between the two. Searching will leave each day more incomplete than the last. Accepting the present will fulfill your every day.