As I sat for brunch with a friend today, we discussed our teenage reputations, what were we known as? When someone would think of me, what did they say? My friend quickly answered - N. the girl that was friends with everyone.
For those that know me well, or even not that well, you would know that I'm somewhat of a social butterfly. I spent most of my teenage years meeting people, going out, meeting more people, making new friends, starting up conversations with anyone. I am not talking about meeting men or anything, I am talking about general people meeting. I always needed to be out and about.
Places to be, people to meet was my motto.
Being this social butterfly that I was, I couldn't miss a night. Saturday night at home? HELLS NO. What would I be missing? The coolest party? A potential prospect? A crazy night out with my friends? I never wanted to miss anything and ALWAYS needed to be surrounded by people. I felt like any night that I stayed in, I would miss something AMAZING. So I always made sure to have plans, to be out, to be dancing, eating, drinking or whatever type of activity that didn't involve me alone at home. I was petrified of being alone.
I grew up in a family of 6. I was always surrounded by people and I was never alone. I lived with a roommate for 4 years and then decided to move out on my own. I was scared. Would I be lonely? Would I lose my friends? I was single (and still am) and I had heard horror stories of people feeling so alone when living alone. But, I can tell you now, there is no better feeling than waking up or coming home and being in my own home. I blast Swedish House Mafia when I get in, I listen to jazz and bossanova in the evenings and I take a bath with the doors open. I may or may not dance like a crazy person singing along to Michael or Whitney. And I may or may not have had neighbors complaining about it...but I don't care! I can watch TV when I want, be silent when I want, it's the best feeling. I am almost afraid of enjoying being alone too much that when comes the time to live with someone else, I won't be able to!
But, my issue is not during the weekdays when I have to get up early to work, but on weekends when the city is alive and all I should be doing is galavanting. Or should I? Would I be able to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night, and just take it easy, on my own? Can you?
As a singleton, you don't want to miss a night out, because you never know who you might meet. A friend keeps on telling me, N. don't go chasing it, it will come to you. So, this Saturday night, like a good girl, I had dinner with my grandparents, came back home, and went to bed. I saw on Facebook all my friends out at Velvet (a Montreal club) - 17 tagged. What was I missing? What am I doing?? I asked myself. As I sat in my pjs watching The Other Guys, I wondered, should I just get dressed and go out? Did I really feel like it? Yes and no. I was exhausted, and listened to my body and stayed in. I woke up this morning feeling energized and had quite the productive day! A few years ago, I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THAT. I feel that I'm - getting old! ha! and realizing that there are nights you can miss. There will always be another party, another event. And hopefully, the man of my dreams will be at the next party!
What's your take? Do you still feel like you need to be out to not miss anything? I would love to hear from yall and get your perspective on the internal dilemma between listening to your body and to your need to be out because : DAMN IM SINGLE. I can't stay in!!
Till next time peeps! Can't wait to see what you gotta say!