Sunday, 31 March 2013

Facebook, Texting, Chatting Oh My!

Who is that girl liking all his pictures? Why isn't he texting me back? I see that he saw my message, why is he ignoring me? What does that text mean? I shouldn't write back yet, I need to play hard to get.

Do any of these sentences sound familiar? I'm sure you can recognize yourself in at least one, two, or maybe all of them. Damn Facebook, texting and chatting!


Media has taken over our relationships, our flirting ways. No matter how much we hate it, it's part of the game, and here to stay. A new male contributor to this blog - whom you will hear much more about in future posts - G. put it this way: All this media makes everything faster, makes hooking up easier, cheating easier, it also makes getting caught much easier as well. Everything is saved and it allows our thoughts to turn into actions without filter. I couldn't have said it better myself. Media is one dangerous playing ground, where the benefits are great, but the where the consequences are even greater.

I was with my girlfriends this weekend, and we all seemed to be dealing with the similar texting issue. "Don't write back yet!" one said. "Ok, if you're going to write back, write this!" another did. "Why isn't he writing should I just write to him" another added. We are all dealing with the same issues. 

So in this media filled world. How do we singletons deal? How do we approach this playground safely? Well. Sadly, if there was a magic recipe for success, I wouldn't be writing this because by now, we would all know. Also, sadly, I do not have this recipe for success, but I do have a few ideas on how to make this a little easier.

The secret is: Play it as if it were a game. And. you REALLY want to win! 

G. explains that it's like a chess game. Managing all media makes it a 3 or even 4 dimensional chess game. You always need to see 5 moves ahead and learn how to decode people's behavior on these different media. You need to play it better than them, and beat them at their own game. Sounds complicated? It is. That's why most of us don't always master this art. Because that's what it is, it's an art to manage media. So, for all us ordinary people people who might not master the art of texting, facebooking and chatting - here are some little tips you can put into practice. 

1. When you have an urge to text someone, and well you know you shouldn't, text your best friend instead whatever you wanted to write them. Get it out of your system. He/She will laugh and well, why not catch up with them.

2. When seeing weird Facebook activity on someone's wall, your gut feeling may be right and what can you do about it? Pretty much nothing (unless you are in a relationship, and in that case, I suggest communication, talk about it!!). There are things we just can't control in life, and someone elses behavior isn't one of them. So, it becomes you're own decision on what you want to do with this. You don't want to seem crazy as ask them: WHO IS SHE? And you don't really want to ask her: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? So. it becomes up to you to decide. Do you want to stick around or move on, or maybe back off a little and see what happens. But - just keep on reminding yourself that the only thing you can control is what you can do about it without being too crazy :)

3. When chatting - chatting up a another friend is a great option - or just closing the window of the guy you are writing to. BE BUSY. Take out a magazine, read a book, listen to Lana Del Rey (which I listened to on repeat ALL weekend - what a great CD!!)

4. Before writing anything, think about it. Yeah. I know. How many times do you write something and then you are like. SHIIITTT Why the hell did I just do that? With media at the ends of our fingertips, it's so easy to write without thinking. We don't have a face to confront, and so our filter is at a minimum. I can't tell you how many times I press that send button and sometimes wish I hadn't, especially on late Friday nights with a little too much vino in my system :)

Of course, these methods will help short term, and then it will get more complicated and you don't want to be starring at your phone all day waiting for a message to pop up. So. Occupy yourself. And, girls, we know that it's all about the chase, the more you leave em hanging, the more they want (then again, some are bizarre and don't really work that way...it becomes case by case...)

So, good luck - so go take ride on that media playground slide and have fun! Be yourself, but I think it's important to be smart!

N. 

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