Saturday, 29 September 2012

Should I still talk to my ex?


I have some new juice for you. Relationships with your exes. How interesting! I have come to believe that every one has their own way of dealing with their exes, some keep them away, some keep them close, some keep them not too far away, I guess it depends for everyone.


The reason why I talking about this, well I will be honest, is because I dealt with a weird situation with my ex recently. We haven't been together for 3 years now, and we don't talk on a regular basis, maybe twice a year for Christmas and if ever I have a question about something I know he would know about. But I learned recently that he got his dream job in the North of Quebec (like big time North, with the Inuits and stuff...) and that him and his girlfriend were moving there. I couldn't be happier for him! So I emailed him to congratulate him on his new job, and wished him the best!

Do you want to know what he answered?

NOTHING!

He didn't even answer me!!!

I was shocked. I actually still am.

3 years later, you can't take the time to write back and say thanks N. that's nice of you. I was with him during most of his Masters to get this dream job, I know how much he wanted it...I don't understand why he wouldn't answer me, after 3 years of not being together!!! Also, he has a new girlfriend, that he has been with for over 1 year, he's happy, he's doing well, I really don't get it. I'm not shy to write this down here, I would even LOVE for him to read this because I just don't get why. He still speaks to some of his old exes, why not me?!

So I spoke to my friend about this and he told me...

well, N. I wouldn't have answered you neither. What's in the past is in the past!

Wait. What?

Why do you even want news from him? 

I dunno, I answered. I just want to see how he's doing, we're not friends or anything, but, it's nice to check up from time to time, he was a very important person in my life at one time. No?

But you see, people have different opinions about the necessity of having a "relationship" with your ex. I think that if it's been a while, that you are both in different places, I don't see why you can't be friends or acquaintances. I see divorced couples still be friends, why can't other types of couples be friends too. I believe it's not something that can happen overnight, but after a while, I don't see what's so wrong with being friends.

I am not saying that you need constant communication, a little hello's how you been, congrats on your new condo, happy birthday, or whatever is not harmful. I am not saying that you become best buddies, but that you keep contact!

I know that not everyone agrees with me, and that once it's done, it's done. Move on. But I guess it all depends on how the relationship ended. We are all different and lived through different experiences. I think that each case is different. But seriously, 3 years later, you can't freaking say Thank you. COME ON.

What's your relationship with your ex? Non-existent, casual hellos from time to time, or buddies?
Let me know if your comments below!

Have a nice weekend,

N.


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