Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Dear N. How do I know if this girl wants me?

First of all, I would like to apologize for my 2 week "vacay", I was moving. Yes. I am a big girl now. I live on my own. What an adventure that was. Over 20 boxes. 13 people. 1 week ordeal. And now it's finally done, so I'm squeezing in this post between unpacking boxes and throwing away my duvet cover from 2004 that I thought I would re-use.

So this post is a little different, I was chilling in my bed (aka sleeping) and I heard my phone beep, you know that little annoying tatata that Facebook does when you receive a private message, yeah, that sound. And told myself, ahh I'll check it tomorrow. At that moment, no one could disturb my chilling status. Turns out, a friend of mine needed my advice! Take a look at his message:


Hi N.  It's been a while, how are you? 
I know that this is a bit out of the blue but I was wondering if you can shed some light on a dilemma that I'm having (I enjoy your blog). 
There's a girl that I have been hanging out with for the past few weeks who I've grown more and more attached to. We have amazing chemistry, laugh at the same jokes, can talk for hours, and heck, I know it sounds cliche, but we literally finish each others' sentences. We even went kayaking together in Tremblant, alone, all day and I didn't want it to end.
The thing is that she does seem to get along with guys in general and has many guy friends so I am immensely confused as to whether the feelings that I have are mutual or if she just considers me a "bro". How should I approach this because it's starting to really get to me and I need to know how she feels before I get my heart broken? I appreciate your advice!
Thanks!
Anonymous
You don't want to be this!!

So before writing this post, I asked him if I could use it as a post! I enjoy this Dear Abby type of stuff. Now, the only problem is that I haven't seen the interaction as is so my advice isn't totally accurate, but I'll try my best. 

Anonymous, let's call you Bob, because anonymous is too long to write. 

So Bob, I can totally relate to this girl because I too have lots guy friends, BUT, I would never go kayaking alone with them in Tremblant, yes we may laugh at the same jokes, and sometimes finish each other's sentences, but I have known them for many many years! 

At our age, it's very rare to meet friends from the opposite sex. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, but it's rare. There is usually an interest on one or the other side (like in your case!)

The way I see you talk about your relationship, the more it seems like you guys are on the same wave, riding it with styyyyle! I would say GO FOR IT

But then again, I would look at the relationship she has with these other guys, does she do alone activities with them too? does she laugh like she does with you but with them? Observe. Your best solution according to me is understanding her behavior with these other so-called male friends of hers. And if you see that you are most definitely the special one... well there is one thing left to do!

Ask her on a date. (ask her on a date even if you don't really know if you are special or not... it's the best way to find out!- well you ARE special. everyone is special, but you know what i mean!)

Yes a date. 

A real evening one.

Bring her to a cool restaurant, make a reservation, pick her up, open the door for her. 

Bob, I know you're a gentleman, but it's your time to shine babyy! 

Day activities are great, but can be misleading, because you aren't sure where you stand, a date on the other hand, a date is a date. 

If she refuses, you got your answer, if she is unsure, you got your answer, if she cancels last minute and doesn't re-schedule, you got your answer. So, restaurant, then take her for drinks, like an actual DATE DATE. And if she doesn't understand that you want this kayaking friendship to go to the next step, well Bob, it's time to find another lucky lady. 

Hope this helps you, and I invite the other readers to give their advice too and help Bob out!

Have a nice evening!

N.


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