When in a relationship, there is temptation all around us, whether it's at a bar, a club, a friend's party or a random meet-up in the places you least expect it, it's there and it's goal is to make you suffer. Unlike people who live in the countryside, or in suburbia (I'm talking REAL suburbia!), temptation in the city is present everywhere you go and it becomes a game to make sure it doesn't get the best of us.
What is crossing that line of temptation? Is it a kiss? Is it sex? Is it flirtation conversations? Is it thinking of that person when you shouldn't be? All those answers are right. In my opinion, you cross the line when you tell yourself - if we switch roles, I wouldn't want her or him doing what I'm doing. OK. It might not be considering CHEATING per se, but maybe some kind of it.
I have always been a fan of the saying: do to others as you would like them to do to you. Of course, I can't really say that I have always lived by this and have done things that I wouldn't want others to do to me. Karma will one day bite me in the bum. Until then, I'm trying to shape up my act.
But enough about me, let's talk about US! I was asking myself, WHY? Why do people fall in to temptation? What can they possibly be missing in their own relationship to seek it elsewhere? And it dawned on me... It's NEW.
Let's take a car for example, when we first get our car, we are so excited, we ride it around like crazy, with a big smile on our faces, without a care in the world, we show it off, polish it and almost call it Baby. Or maybe you do call it baby. Either way. But then, you see another cool car on the road or you go to the dealership with your friends to see their car (think - going to a bar to pick up!), and there is this car there, it's new, shiny, new skirt (see how I did that!) and it's begging for a ride (see, I'm so smart like that I can make picking up girls and driving cars similar!), it's not that the older car isn't good anymore, it's just that the new car looks so good and we tend to forget about the old car, and want the new one, to then realize, we were actually really happy with the old car!
Why do we have trouble turning down the new car to take around for a little test drive? Why do we fall in the trap? Is it that new car smell, those new mags, or bright shiny color. It's all of the above, it's adventure in to the excitement of something that is far from what we are used to. We love the innocent flirting, we are mammals damnit - the chase is built in our bodies. It's like I mentioned in a previous post - having chocolate when you have been having vanilla every day. Both are good, but sometimes it's nice to switch it up from time to time.
But because of our hate for CHANGE - I'm talking about real change, we are tempted, act and then go back to the old stuff, the old stuff is comfortable, nice, easy and well, we love it. It's safe. And don't we all love safe. So how to prevent this temptation? Well, the answer is quite simple! Don't put yourself in a position to fall in to the trap! When out a bar, stay with buddies! Your friends are your saviors! Of course, then again, if you keep falling in to the traps, you might not be with the right person. I have heard people say : When I'm in love - I don't see anyone else! Looking never hurt anyone, but don't let those eyes wander too much.. Don't go burn yourself with your eyes.
All this to say - Should we actually be monogamous? Are we programmed to be with one person and stay with them and temptation is just natural? OH I'm stirring shit up! See, I wouldn't be able to handle polygamy, BUT I understand the interest in it. Of course, if it goes for men, it should go for women. But then, what do we become? A society in ruins where anything is permitted. ANARCHY. We will all be wearing white squares on our clothes - "I surrender". Surrender to society's old ways. Oh this is a bunch of BS. I don't have the answer for all - but I doubt universal polygamy is one. Hello STD explosion and babies EVERYWHERE. Aren't we enough already? Let's learn control and respect- hells - we should all take bootcamp! We learn to appreciate what we have when we need to work at it!
In my last words of wisdom - faithful is the way to go - look but don't think. And if you must think, you must also question what you are in. Is it worth losing? If not - well then - think with your head - not your libido.