Monday, 25 June 2012

She's just not that into you...


I am a lean mean writing machine! I am trying to write at least once a week, and keep you updated with different subjects. Luckily, lately I have been inspired. This next post is long overdue. I was summoned as some kind of "Woman Doctor", in other words, a dude friend of mine needed help with a lady that was giving him a hard time. Honestly, he needed a woman to talk to about a woman. Let's just say that there was DAILY communication, this girl stressed him out BIG TIME.

You see, there will always be those people that get under your skin. Those people that you love to hate, or hate to love, either way, those people that drive your brain cuckoo, those people that make you sit down and look at yourself and you tell yourself SHEESH, What the hell is wrong with me? I like to call them "evil". I know, it's not a very nice word to use, because really deep down they aren't EVIL, but the way they make you feel is EVIL. In the case with my friend, he was in quite the sticky situation, interested in a girl that only seemed interested when drunk. That my friends = BAD NEWS. Red Flags. Sound the alarm for goodness sakes!

This is a clear case of the "he's not that into you". You see, this concept goes both ways... for men and women. You want something, but bof, not THAT much.. if they are in the same place as you, or close to you, that's great, if not, well too bad.  The problem is, when you show too much interest, the other knows that they can play yo-yo with you. In these cases, when you have fallen for someone, and the other one shows more or less interest - live by this saying! DO IT.
This is the oldest trick in the book! But why do we have so much trouble putting it into practice? Why do we have hot fingers when it comes to texting, chatting or calling and suddenly out of the blue, we are writing or calling that person we shouldn't! We know it's wrong, we know we should let them come to us, BUT WE DO IT ANYWAYS! It's like some magical gnome put a spell on us and before we know it, we're pressing SEND and regretting every second after doing it, but still manage to do it again at some other time.

The best advice I was able to give him was to let destiny take it's course. Yeah, I believe in that stuff. I believe in things that are meant to be, that everyone you meet if for a reason, whether it's to teach you something, to help them become something, whatever. He put his cards on the table, now, her move. He showed his interest, she knew. Ball is in her court. The last thing anyone wants is to be pressured. Because let me tell you, in a society where 80% of the time, you need to take the long scenic freaking route through the valley and the mountains and by Uncle Bob's house and take ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD before actually deciding to commit to anything, clearly, giving the other one space is crucial.

So how can learn by my friend's experience? Simple. You got the guts, you show your cards and then you wait for their turn. If they don't play - well that's your cue to move on. Lot's of annoying heartaches and game playing prevented! (Of course, I know how we all work, you're gonna get in to that game and learn the hard way! Never say I didn't tell you so!)

N.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Temptation Temptation Temptation...


When in a relationship, there is temptation all around us, whether it's at a bar, a club, a friend's party or a random meet-up in the places you least expect it, it's there and it's goal is to make you suffer. Unlike people who live in the countryside, or in suburbia (I'm talking REAL suburbia!), temptation in the city is present everywhere you go and it becomes a game to make sure it doesn't get the best of us. 


What is crossing that line of temptation? Is it a kiss? Is it sex? Is it flirtation conversations? Is it thinking of that person when you shouldn't be? All those answers are right. In my opinion, you cross the line when you tell yourself - if we switch roles, I wouldn't want her or him doing what I'm doing. OK. It might not be considering CHEATING per se, but maybe some kind of it. 


I have always been a fan of the saying: do to others as you would like them to do to you. Of course,  I can't really say that I have always lived by this and have done things that I wouldn't want others to do to me. Karma will one day bite me in the bum. Until then, I'm trying to shape up my act. 

But enough about me, let's talk about US! I was asking myself, WHY? Why do people fall in to temptation? What can they possibly be missing in their own relationship to seek it elsewhere? And it dawned on me... It's NEW. 

Let's take a car for example, when we first get our car, we are so excited, we ride it around like crazy, with a big smile on our faces, without a care in the world, we show it off, polish it and almost call it Baby. Or maybe you do call it baby. Either way. But then, you see another cool car on the road or you go to the dealership with your friends to see their car (think - going to a bar to pick up!), and there is this car there, it's new, shiny, new skirt (see how I did that!) and it's begging for a ride (see, I'm so smart like that I can make picking up girls and driving cars similar!), it's not that the older car isn't good anymore, it's just that the new car looks so good and we tend to forget about the old car, and want the new one, to then realize, we were actually really happy with the old car! 

Why do we have trouble turning down the new car to take around for a little test drive? Why do we fall in the trap? Is it that new car smell, those new mags, or bright shiny color. It's all of the above, it's adventure in to the excitement of something that is far from what we are used to. We love the innocent flirting, we are mammals damnit - the chase is built in our bodies. It's like I mentioned in a previous post - having chocolate when you have been having vanilla every day. Both are good, but sometimes it's nice to switch it up from time to time.

But because of our hate for CHANGE - I'm talking about real change, we are tempted, act and then go back to the old stuff, the old stuff is comfortable, nice, easy and well, we love it. It's safe. And don't we all love safe. So how to prevent this temptation? Well, the answer is quite simple! Don't put yourself in a position to fall in to the trap! When out a bar, stay with buddies! Your friends are your saviors! Of course, then again, if you keep falling in to the traps, you might not be with the right person. I have heard people say : When I'm in love - I don't see anyone else! Looking never hurt anyone, but don't let those eyes wander too much.. Don't go burn yourself with your eyes

All this to say - Should we actually be monogamous? Are we programmed to be with one person and stay with them and temptation is just natural? OH I'm stirring shit up! See, I wouldn't be able to handle polygamy, BUT I understand the interest in it. Of course, if it goes for men, it should go for women. But then, what do we become? A society in ruins where anything is permitted. ANARCHY. We will all be wearing white squares on our clothes - "I surrender". Surrender to society's old ways. Oh this is a bunch of BS. I don't have the answer for all - but I doubt universal polygamy is one. Hello STD explosion and babies EVERYWHERE. Aren't we enough already? Let's learn control and respect- hells - we should all take bootcamp! We learn to appreciate what we have when we need to work at it!

In my last words of wisdom - faithful is the way to go - look but don't think. And if you must think, you must also question what you are in. Is it worth losing? If not - well then - think with your head - not your libido.

N.

Monday, 11 June 2012

Top 5 Skinny Summer Cocktails

Well, unless you're a hermit or if you live in the Southern Hemisphere, I think it's safe to say that Summer is really here. Whether you are staying at home, vacationing, or heading out for a night on the town with your friends, I can put my money on it that you will be enjoying a few little cocktails! Summer is horrible that way, you want to drink more, eat more but still look fab. If only eating and drinking made you lose weight and not gain. Well, in order to enjoy this summer and enjoy life's great pleasures like Hendrick's and Moet. I have put together a list of the TOP 5 Summer cocktails you can enjoy without worrying too much about your waist line!

1. The Skinny Sangria

It calls for either red wine or white wine, either is good, but instead of using regular 7-UP, well... GO DIET! We always underestimate the power of diet soda, but they make great mixers that are low in calories and great on your waistline! Instead of regular fruit juice, opt for the low-cal ones, but add some fruit! You can find an excellent selection of frozen fruit in the frozen section of your grocery store and you can just buy some fresh fruit - oranges, grapefruit, apples, blueberries, strawberries. I am fond of all of them. At only 100 calories a glass, this makes a PERFECT cocktail for your summer nights with your gals, and I'm sure your boy will love it too! 

2. The Skinny Margarita

I have this spot in my city called El Sombrero, they serve some of the best margaritas ever, but did you know at 325 calories a glass, they were probably more fattening than my meal! Instead, there is this great little creation I found at my liquor store called The Skinny Girl Margarita. Actually, Skinny Girl is a full line of low calorie drinks perfect for the woman that wants to enjoy a great cocktail without thinking of those evil calories! Go check em out!

3. Light Beer

Yup. Not all women dislike beer. And for those of you that like it, but aren't fans of the beer belly, well Light Beer is for you! Corona Light with a lime, or Bud Select 55 with only 55 calories. You can check out Women's Health for more options - Best Light Beers. This is perfect for those BBQ nights with the boys. How to be like a boy, but smarter! Wait. Aren't we already smarter? ;)

4. Hard Liquor + Soda

So you are out at a bar, you can't really make a Skinny Martini or Skinny Sangria, and you don't like beer, WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO? Vodka Soda and Gin soda are 2 great choices. Vodka (grey goose) soda comes to about 69 calories a glass (with 1 oz of vodka) and gin soda is about 96 calories a drink for a generic gin. I have a preference for Hendrick's gin. It has a hint of cucumber and a little sweeter than the other gins. 1 oz of Hendricks has 69 calories, not bad at all. To my surprise, Jack Daniels only has 56 calories per oz, so go ahead, ask for Jack + Diet Coke - only 64 calories (if your bartender is friendly!). But stay away from the fruit juices, those are extra calories for no good reason!

5. CHAMPAGNE!!

POP THAT CHAMPAGNE! At only 78 calories per 4 oz, champagne is a less fattening drink than vino (120 calories for 5 oz)! So take some time to celebrate your new knowledge, your great friends, music, life, your dog, your mom and dad and pop champagne!! Add a berry for that extra somethin somethin!

Enjoy your summer and of course, as my last words of wisdom, don't drink and drive. Don't one of your friends owe for not telling on you for some reason or for something, yeah yeah, ask them to drive you home instead! :)

N.


Tuesday, 5 June 2012

10 Things I Should Have Known About Men At 20

After reading Julien Smith's 20 Things I Should Have Known At 20, I felt compelled to write a similar article - 10 Things I Should Have Known About Men At 20. (note that not all points are valid for all men!)


1. Men's brains are simple. They don't over think much, their needs are quite basic. They can't do 2 things at once. They are just simple like that.

2. Men can't read your brain. They don't know what you're thinking, they don't know what you want exactly. They will do what they think is best, but they will never really understand what you want unless you tell them. Things for them are usually very simple.

3. Men like the chase. As much as we might hate to play the game (or some of you really enjoy it), it's really all about the game. Don't give up your goods too easily, make them run a bit. This is even valid in a relationship, it's always fun to miss someone - so calling NON-STOP, not fun. Keep it exciting, they like that (and really, so do we!)

4. The definition of a hot woman can differ. What a man may find hot, you may not. In some cases, that's because her looks aren't everything. Men see an "aura". That she is a confident woman, with leadership or sass, of course a short skirt helps, but women look at other women physically, so what may not be physically appealing to us, is for a dude.

5. Not all men like skinny girls. Most men actually like a woman with some curves, with some "cushion for the pushin". Nothing is more feminine that an hourglass shape. No need to starve yourself! Of course, being in shape is your best option!

6. Men need "guy time". Whether it's poker night, Monday night football, hockey games, baseball games, rugby games. They NEED it. So let them be. And even, go see them play (well not poker nor Sunday football), but they like the encouragement.

7. Pick your battles. Some fights are worth fighting for, others aren't. Stick to your guns on some stuff, but for others just let it slide. We think differently and it's OK.

8. Never underestimate a nice guy. We like the bad guy, the "project", the guy we can change (see my post Nice Guys Finish Last), but really in the end, isn't a good guy what we really want, someone who will treat us with respect, love, care and from time to time, be super romantic. Well I know that's what I want. But I should have given them more of a chance.

9. An independent woman isn't always what they want. No matter how much we have evolved as a society, men still wish to always save the woman, be the protector, be the provider. This defines their masculinity and makes them feel comfortable as men. So, show your weaknesses, being the fragile woman from time to time is a good thing.

10. Most men need to be mothered. Men search for women with leadership, with strong qualities to take care of them. It's our duty to lead, but still make them feel manly. Just like a mother, they need someone who is still dependent of them but that needs to take charge and care for them. Talk about confusing.

Oh how I wish I knew some of this stuff before now.

If you have any to add, please do!

N.