I really love when people comment on posts I write, and I had 2 pretty good comments from men on the one "Got Game?". The second one made me laugh a little, and I thought it would be great material for a new blog post...Dudes, read this.
So here it is, let's call him Dude With Game.
Let me first describe myself. I am a man in my early 30's. I am a bigger man complete with no six pack and a belly. I dont have big muscles and I may have remenence of a double chin depending of the angle you look at me. That being said, I am not bad looking. I have a full haid of hair, great eyes, good style and a wicked smile. I have never had problems talking to women ergo never had problems being with them. My friends are shocked at my level of "game" but for me I am not playing a game. I am just being.
I am in a line of work where I am able to first hand watch interactions between men and women live in a bar setting. I love being an outside observer. Its the best type of entertainment. I beleive fully in something called the KEVORKA. The lure of the animal as Kramer describes it in the Seinfeld episode where a nun can't resist him. A man either has it or not. There is an unsaid something that a man has when talking to a woman that perks her interest. You speak of confidence. That is important. However over confidence is a killer. I beleive its all about flow, humour and comfort. I never approach a woman at a bar with her friend without somekind of interaction before hand. I see it all the time. Men walk up to the bar and say a line when the woman is immersed in conversation breaking the natural flow of just being. If I were to walk up to the bar and talk to a woman, which almost NEVER happens. I make sure that there was eye contact or a smile before hand, something in her body language has to tell me that she might be ok with me invading her world. I find the men that have "no game" are the ones that do not pay attention to other factors. They are not looking for signals or reading body language which is the most important thing. If you cant understand the unspoken language before contact you're dead in the water. If the unspoken factors are favorable then I make an approach. Smile. Laugh. I tell a joke to bartender making him or her smile while ordering a drink before saying a word to the woman. Make sure she hears me. I then decide judging by her body language if I should talk to her. Flow, Comfort, Humour.
This type of picking up tactic, people do not realize is the HARDEST type of pick up which I beleive that 90% of men fail at. The men that are good at it have broken it down to a science and have great percentages and are usually players and are the types of guys that break hearts. Women go home with them only to realize that they didn't enjoy having really fast robot sex. The men that are good at that type of pick up are the men that end mid 40's with no family. I see it all the time. The only one's that are capable of continuing their hedonistic lifestyle at such an old age are the ones with a wallet to support it. Then they can continue objectifying women half their age with daddy issues. Sorry. Went off on a little rant there.
In conclusion. Picking up at bars is hard. I try to spark conversations outside while people are smoking, in the line for the bathroom. If I see a woman sitting at the bar that seems interested, I wait for looks in my direction. I'll wait till she gets up and walk past me and then I'll say something. Just be. Go with it. Be ok with rejection. I think getting rejected at bars is funny and fun. If you look at it as fun and take away the pressure all of a sudden you are confident, your able to laugh at situations. You are not the emo kid sitting in the corner wanting to die because nobody loves you. Ladies, if a man has the balls to approach you at the bar and doesn't look like a full on douche. If you feel like there might be something interesting about him but tanks with his opener. You maybe might wanna give him a chance, go for a smoke with him or something. He might not be charming and have the KEVORKA but give him an A for effort. Or not...
To Dude With Game, you are awesome! Thank you for your insight!!!