Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Got Game?

I was out a couple weeks ago or so with some friends, we were chilling at the bar, in a good mood, ordering shots, drinks, dancing like it was going outta style. I'm standing by the bar with a friend of mine, and she spots these 2 guys who spot us and tells me: N. Look at this, these 2 guys are going to come up to us. I turned to them, they were good looking, had some style so, I was like, ok this can be interesting! Finally, low and behold, the dudes walk up to us...One of the guys comes up to me, let's call him Bob, and Bob says to me Hey how are you? I answer, good thanks, how are you? good he answers me and then stares blankly at me...I look back and I try to make small talk... those really stupid questions that I dislike so much : "Come here often?", "What do you do in life?", and he answers me without really asking in return. Bob then moves on to my friend, which relieves me immensely because boy this guy was clueless when it came to picking up women, he had nothing to say. Next off, his friend Karl then started talking to me...same issue. CLUELESS. As I tried to make some conversation, I gave up, and went back to see my friends. He even came back to see me, put his arm around my waist, and asked, hey are you having fun? HEY ARE YOU HAVING FUN??? Come on. COME ON. He was cute, but so boring. And this got me thinking... the older you get, the more game you need. No game, no girl.

When we were young and clubbing or at bars, your good looks could probably get you a few drinks, a few stupid question answering, a good night kiss, and maybe more. Our standards were much lower, and we would go out a bunch of girls together to pick up, to have a good time, and the outcome of these evenings would usually be unknown. Now, as we get older, we strive more on personality (I'm talking about women want...) than looks. We want a guy that has wit, that is funny and doesn't ask us about what we do in life, but asks us about our hobbies, music, travel, or that can start up a conversation based on an ugly sweater, weird tasting drink or super drunk guy in the corner. Basically, we are looking for men with game. If you don't have game, how do you develop it? Damn. That I really don't know how to answer you, find one of your friends that does have game and ask him to give you tricks. I don't know how to suddenly become more witty, or more interesting. I wonder if it's either something you have or don't. Maybe picking up in bars just isn't right for you and that you need a different type of setting, whether it's house parties, friends of friends or something like eHarmony. 

I looked at myself too to wonder if I was maybe too picky, and that I was the one actually looking for that type of person, but the girls I was with seemed to agree with me. When in bars, one must be a little more than just there. This charm is a man's saving grace, because he can probably get the most good looking girl in the club or bar if he has game, if he can use his wit to win her over, even if he isn't that good looking, he's in business. Of course, in order to be witty and funny, one must be confident. And as we all know, that's the solution to all. I do congratulate those guys for coming up to us and trying to make conversation, it's never easy to approach women, but you need to do it in style.

I know it's shitty this whole game thing, if only we were more simple. But if a man reads this, and he does have game, and he wants to share his tricks. I love to hear it. It can probably help some other men out there... (you can be anonymous!)

Until then, hope you had a great Christmas or Hanukkah, and Happy New Year!! 



Anonymous said...

Like you said in your post, it's hard for a lot of men to approach women... Yes it does related to self-confidence, but you have to keep in mind that being "rejected" in a bar isn't the best thing in the world. So if you decide to approach a woman and get rejected, the next time, you'll think twice about going to talk to her and if you do so, you might not be on the top of your game.

For those who are confident and have a few tricks under their sleeves and yes humor is always a winner. One thing I could say to guys out there is to use what's around you, observe!

One other thing I could "suggest" for guys who aren't comfortable to approach women is to use the bartender. Offer a drink across the bar, look at her in the eyes, she'll probably smile at you and she'll come say thanks, this way she will be the one"approaching you". By the way, if she doesn't even bother moving her ass, forget her.

Never forget that you're hunting, if you don't "catch" her, someone else will...

N. said...

Well said!

Anonymous said...

I'm always right :)

N. said...

Seb? Is that you?

Anonymous said...

Let me first describe myself. I am a man in my early 30's. I am a bigger man complete with no six pack and a belly. I dont have big muscles and I may have remenence of a double chin depending of the angle you look at me. That being said, I am not bad looking. I have a full haid of hair, great eyes, good style and a wicked smile. I have never had problems talking to women ergo never had problems being with them. My friends are shocked at my level of "game" but for me I am not playing a game. I am just being.

I am in a line of work where I am able to first hand watch interactions between men and women live in a bar setting. I love being an outside observer. Its the best type of entertainment. I beleive fully in something called the KEVORKA. The lure of the animal as Kramer describes it in the Seinfeld episode where a nun can't resist him. A man either has it or not. There is an unsaid something that a man has when talking to a woman that perks her interest. You speak of confidence. That is important. However over confidence is a killer. I beleive its all about flow, humour and comfort. I never approach a woman at a bar with her friend without somekind of interaction before hand. I see it all the time. Men walk up to the bar and say a line when the woman is immersed in conversation breaking the natural flow of just being. If I were to walk up to the bar and talk to a woman, which almost NEVER happens. I make sure that there was eye contact or a smile before hand, something in her body language has to tell me that she might be ok with me invading her world. I find the men that have "no game" are the ones that do not pay attention to other factors. They are not looking for signals or reading body language which is the most important thing. If you cant understand the unspoken language before contact you're dead in the water. If the unspoken factors are favorable then I make an approach. Smile. Laugh. I tell a joke to bartender making him or her smile while ordering a drink before saying a word to the woman. Make sure she hears me. I then decide judging by her body language if I should talk to her. Flow, Comfort, Humour.

This type of picking up tactic, people do not realize is the HARDEST type of pick up which I beleive that 90% of men fail at. The men that are good at it have broken it down to a science and have great percentages and are usually players and are the types of guys that break hearts. Women go home with them only to realize that they didn't enjoy having really fast robot sex. The men that are good at that type of pick up are the men that end mid 40's with no family. I see it all the time. The only one's that are capable of continuing their hedonistic lifestyle at such an old age are the ones with a wallet to support it. Then they can continue objectifying women half their age with daddy issues. Sorry. Went off on a little rant there.

In conclusion. Picking up at bars is hard. I try to spark conversations outside while people are smoking, in the line for the bathroom. If I see a woman sitting at the bar that seems interested, I wait for looks in my direction. I'll wait till she gets up and walk past me and then I'll say something. Just be. Go with it. Be ok with rejection. I think getting rejected at bars is funny and fun. If you look at it as fun and take away the pressure all of a sudden you are confident, your able to laugh at situations. You are not the emo kid sitting in the corner wanting to die because nobody loves you. Ladies, if a man has the balls to approach you at the bar and doesn't look like a full on douche. If you feel like there might be something interesting about him but tanks with his opener. You maybe might wanna give him a chance, go for a smoke with him or something. He might not be charming and have the KEVORKA but give him an A for effort. Or not...

N. said...

Dude, you are awesome! I am posting your reply as a complete post!