Monday, 15 August 2011

What's so wrong with Girl's Night?

All week last week I was jittery. Excited. Anxious. Finally, a wonderful GIRLS NIGHT was planned at my friend C's place. C is probable the best cook I know and her food is MOUTH-WATERING. The theme for this week was sea food, so she made some excellent seafood dishes, I brought some oysters, other's made shrimp mousses, or seafood salads. Each dish was delectable in every way possible. Drool actually came out of my mouth and as I took my first bite, I was already thinking of our next Girls Night. Our Girls Nights are always so much fun. They start with the most amazing meal you will ever eat, accompanied by vino or bubbles or both, and followed by a wild night of dancing at our favorite Old Montreal spot.

As we sat around the table for another great night ahead, with our vinos, already discussing the post-supper clubbing plans, we started discussing how these Girls Nights aren't very much appreciated by the boyfriends. How weird we thought. You would think that your boyfriend would encourage the fact that you are doing your own thing, spending quality time with your girlfriends while he can spend quality time with his guy friends, but this just ain't so.

This got me thinking. I have mentioned this in my previous posts, but I guess this just accentuates the fact that as much as we might think that the woman and man are equal. They aren't. In reality, the man would actually want his woman home, waiting for him while he goes out, not the other way around. The idea of leaving their woman go and do their own thing seems to cause them to be a little upset, and would wish that they would just stay home. It sometimes can be a little confusing, because they would want to go out, spend time with their boys, which is OK, but when it's the other way around, it's just not as well accepted. Have we evolved? The man's brain seems to have remained the same. But seriously, us women need these evenings with our girls where we can chat about our issues, great make-up, recipes, business, traveling and whatever other subject, but our way. We need to get our boogie on, and dance till we can't dance no more, as we hug each other on the dance floor while pooring cramberry vodkas down our throats. We need to scream "I JUST CAME TO SAY HELLLOOOO", while others stare wondering if we're 22 or 27. We need it. We need that freedom to do our own thing as much as men need their freedom to have poker nights, or Monday night football nights or "hey man, come over to play some Call of Duty" nights.

Are they worried that we might cheat on them? I guess. But here's the thing that my mom always told me, and that I try to apply to my life as much as I can. If they cheat, that means that they doesn't really want to be with you, and if they don't really want to be with you, why would you want to be with them, because really, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. HA. Did you get that? Then again, if they are going to cheat, they will find a way to, whether or not you forbid Girls Nights or Guys Nights. The more freedom you give, the more they will want to be close to you. You can't force anyone to stay close and the more limitations you force on that person, the more they will want to break out of it, and feel strangled. Instead of pulling them close, you are actually pushing them away.

So boys, instead of wanting us to stay home, set us free, we need it as much as you need your guy time. Of course, a little worrying or jealousy is cute, but encourage us to have a good time, not the other way around.

So boys, do you agree? Why do you think you want your woman to stay at home instead of going out? I would love a man's opinion on this issue.



Anonymous said...

Who are all these men you speak of? I never had an issue with girls' night. In fact, girls night means one (or more) things: 1) opportunity to spend some time with the boys, 2) creating that time apart which only leaves you missing your girlfriend more, 3) when the girls share feelings about their current/ex boyfriends, it always puts me in a positive light.."gee, my boyfriend really does treat me well."

Or maybe I'm not the jealous type.

Anonymous said...

A real man is not threatened by a girls night out.

In fact spending some time with friends (guys and girls) probably makes for a healthier relationship.

Someone who wants to isolate a woman from her friends is insecure at best or controlling at worst.