The recent blog post by N. on girls night out got me thinking. In fact, it got me interested enough to guest blog about the subject at hand from my male perspective.
I was a little surprised to read that some of the girls boyfriends frowned on the fact that their girlfriends would occasionally go out without them. But then again, I know many people from both sexes who react the same way, so after some reflection it did not really seem that odd a reaction at all unfortunately.
I say unfortunately because I feel that when two people are together, and when they truly feel comfortable and at ease in their relationship (and by extension with themselves), there is no good reason for them to keep each other at arm's length all the time.
Time apart is important (doesn't it make the heart grow fonder?), having a circle of friends outside of the relationship is very important (friends ground you and provide a different perspective on things), and being able to blow off steam is extremely important (everyone is under pressure these days, better to relieve it than to add to it).
A cynical person may say that a guy who wants his girl to go out with her friends just wants some peace and quiet, but the truth is someone who truly cares for you wants you to lead a well rounded life with a good circle of friends.
On the other end of the spectrum, someone who does not trust his girlfriend to go out without him occasionally reveals his own insecurity, trust issues and a fundamental lack of respect for his significant other. Is this a good foundation for a relationship? I would say no, and in fact I believe this sets a precedent for a future with someone who will get more and more controlling.
The fear that your girl will cheat on you is just an excuse. The truth is that fear is just an outward projection of your own insecurity. It reveals that maybe deep down you do not think your girl is happy and she may stray because you are not treating her right. Ironically it is this very behavior that may push her away.
I for one love it when the girl in my life goes out with her friends. It makes her happy and in turn makes me happy.
(but just remember it is a two way street - I need my guys nights out as well)!