Sunday, 5 June 2011

How to be a gentleman?

For a long time now women have fought to be treated like equals, to have the same jobs as men, to be independent, to be strong women who don't need men in our lives to achieve greatness. With all this GIRL POWER we have pushed whether it was the Spice Girls or Beyonce advocating for women to be powerful people just like men, some men have ceased to treat us like ladies, but as their equals, and in this process we have seen that chivalry isn't as important as it was way back when. Funny enough, women still love and want to be treated like ladies, like princesses. We still want to be cared for, looked after, protected and we want our men to stand up for us. It's quite the essence of a woman - we aren't always sure what we want. But all I know is that I want chivalry back, I want a gentleman and all women secretly do.

If your Dad or Mom didn't teach you the ways of being a gentleman, then there is really no other way you could have learned, unless you attended finishing school or a prep school that emphasized the ways a man should be no matter what the society might dictate. So I have put together a list of some of the most loved acts of gentlemaness (I made up that word) according to me.

Let's go through a nice date between a man and a woman, going through the many things a man can do to be a gentleman.

Opening the door for your lady is one of the most loved acts a man can do
First, pick up your lady. There is something about being picked up and driven around that we love. Don't honk, text or call when you are at the door. Get out of your car, go to her door, ring and have her come out. Once she comes out, and you both make your way to the car, do open the car door for her. If you are taking a cab, well then open the cab door. Note to always let your lady walk in first. And this is the golden rule. When walking in to a place, car, whatever, she should always be in front of you. 

Then it's off to the restaurant, once you get there, of course chances are she will probably get out of the car without your help, but do make your way around the car to help close the door and don't start walking towards the restaurant without her. Accompany her. If it's raining, drop her off at the restaurant and then go find parking, if you can't find parking too close to your destination, drop her off. A. A woman can't walk too long in heels and B. It's a nice thing to do. 

Once you get to the restaurant, if she's with you, again open the door for her! And, let her walk in front of you to get to your table. I believe walking behind your lady roots from wanting to protect her. Once you get to the table, you can pull out the chair for her, but to be honest, I don't really care for that. Now, if you are meeting her there for whatever reason, when she arrives, stand up to greet her. I still love when men stand up from their table when a woman walks in. It shows respect. 

When it's time to order, I think that now women like to share their opinion on the wine, on the food and so ask for her ideas. I have to say that when Im in a restaurant, I like to speak. I like to ask the waiter about suggestions and I'm quite vocal on what I want, so you really have to feel what type of woman you are dealing with before making decisions for her. But do show some proactiveness (another word I made up) by either choosing the wine or ordering appetizers. A woman likes her man to be proactive. I do hope you made the reservation for that restaurant too. 

Once done dinner, if it's a first date (2nd or 3rd really), don't have her pay. I know we root for all to be equal, but there is something about a man who pays for his lady that is still sexy and strong. Some men decide to always pay for their lady at restaurants and I like that too. In exchange, women can do other things for their men, by taking them out, buying them gifts, paying for other every day things. This is a very old school mentality of course, but nice to adapt in our current society. 

With dinner done, help her put her coat back on if she had one. This is probably one of my favorite things a man can do. There is something so nice about this simple act. I always felt privileged when my at-the-time boyfriend helped me put on my coat at a group dinner while all other women in couples had to do it themselves. And if you decided to go for ice cream or a walk post-dinner, walk on the dangerous side of the sidewalk, meaning the side where cars pass. This is to prevent from being robbed or hurt. Also if it's cold, a nice thing to do is to offer your jacket to your lady. I love when men do this. And then, if you decide to go straight home, well going to get the car is a nice gesture and once back home, get out, walk her to her door and make sure she is inside and OK. 

Another nice act of chivalry that I didn't mention because it didn't really fit in my story is carrying her heavy things. If she has large bags, boxes, whatever, do offer to help her carry them.

All that I have mentioned above can be adapted to whatever situation you are in with your lady. Open doors, have her walk first, drop her off before finding parking, be proactive, help her take off and put on coat, walk on dangerous side of sidewalk can be done in any situation, whether you are shopping, eating, going to the movies, going to do groceries, these are just some simple acts that go a long way.

Im telling you, if you don't do them, start and I can guarantee that your lady will be happy and feel like the princess she deserves to be! If you have any other acts of gentlemaness to add, please do! Let's help chivalry, it aint dead yet! 


NB. A lot of men I know are still gentlemen and I want to just thank you for being that way! 


Lina Roy said...

Salut Nat ! J'ai bien aimé ce billet que j'ai lu il y a quelques semaines.

Voici un article sur une exposition qui pourrait t'intéresser: "hommes en voie de distinction". On aborde la galanterie de plusieurs manières puisque différents artistes se sont prêtés au jeu.

L'article de la Presse


À la prochaine !

N. said...

Merci Lina!! :)