Sunday, 27 March 2011

Lex's Art : The Art of Picking Up

So my blog team is growing, I now have a contributor! Super duper Lex is my new "Art of" girl. Lex's specialty is MEN. The Art of Picking Up is the first of her many contributions. She's a pro, I'm telling you, so I do suggest you read well and if you put these moves into practice, you too can probably pick up!

After reading N’s blog and hearing her talk about ideas for upcoming posts, I felt inspired to write something as well. What can I write about? What is it that I know about and that I can share with others? Hmm...well I’m confident and witty and I’m not afraid of looking like a fool. In fact, my friends love asking me to go up to guys to start up a conversation. I was once in a bar and my friend thought the guy across the bar was hot. So I walked up to him, told him my friend wanted to meet him and brought him over. They ended up hooking up! And it hit me; I jokingly suggested writing about picking up. Yup, about how to pick up a guy in a bar! N thought it would be a great idea, so we quickly put the plan into action.

To clarify, my definition of picking up is to identify someone you find attractive and to start up a conversation, leading to the opportunity to go further if you find them interesting.
Even though I looked a mess and was exhausted from an intense hot yoga kbox class, I got dressed and headed over to the Burgundy Lion. It’s close by, there are always good looking guys and the setup is ideal for picking up. First step: find a good location! Some bars are better than others (FYI, Cock&Bull’s? Not a good idea).

N and I positioned ourselves at the center of the bar, with a direct view of the door and some room around us. The advantage is that you can see who walks in and you have a good scope of who is in the bar.  This next step is called The Scope. Look around, any attractive guys? Make sure they aren’t with girls because you never know who the girl is with and it could cause an awkward situation. In our case, the guys at the bar were with girls but there were two guys having dinner at a table across from us. We made eye contact. N and I ordered drinks (Leo for me and Vodka something with bitters for N) then N and I started discussing how someone could initiate a conversation with a guy. You need some kind of “in”.

How to create a situation? How to get “in”? Well, be creative! Here are a few options:
  • If I was sitting at a table and hot guys were sitting next to me, I could lean over and ask them when the next Habs game is. “Hey sorry, is there a game this Saturday?” then involve your friend and turn it into a discussion “Yeah N and I weren’t sure if there was, can you believe they got shut out 3 games in a row? Hasn’t happened since 1949!!” And how about making an opportunity for yourself by asking them to come watch the next game with you at the bar or letting them know you’ll be watching the game. Talking about the Habs is a no fail! Trust me.
  • If you are planning on eating, look at the menu and discuss loudly with your friend about what to order. Then lean over, ask the guys if they’ve eaten here before “Hey do you know if the burger is any good here? Not sure what to order...” In my case, I only order the cheeseburger. I’m obsessed! So I wouldn’t ask an open question like “what’s good here” because I’m picky and I need my cheeseburger. Also, I think it’s key to be able to be witty and funny and to try to keep the convo going. For example, I would say something silly like if they suggested the Bangers and Mash, with a wink, I would say “haha yeah N loooves bangers.”
  • It’s always your birthday!! I would ask N to go to the bathroom, then lean over and tell the guys that it’s N’s bday and ask if they could please help me sing to her when she gets back. Hell, you can even order a first round of bday shots for when she gets back. It’s funny and the guys will for sure join in the celebration and will probably even purchase more bday shots. 
In our case, it was relatively easy. The couple to my right got up and left and the two guys we made eye contact with earlier had finished their meal, and jumped on the chance to take up the two free stools. I figured they would for sure start talking to us. Instead of having my back turned to them and facing N, I rotated on my stool to face forward and to be more accessible. I raised the tone of my voice so they could hear what I was saying and take the opportunity to jump in with a comment. I just said whatever “I love those wooden lions behind the bar” “Hey N, did you hear about the new JD, Tennessee Honey? Looks amaaazzing” The guy next to me jumped in with “hey yeah I heard about that,” exactly as I had planned. It was that easy. Then we started talking about what was in my weird looking drink “Cucumber?? Weird” and what N was drinking “Bitters?? What is that??” and they offered us another round. The conversation was interesting and could have led to a phone number exchange. Though that wasn’t our goal so we parted ways and headed home.

The key is always to create a situation for yourself, we were lucky that everything worked as planned but otherwise, you work with what you have. A situation can always be created. When an opportunity comes up, seize it! Be confident, be creative, be your awesome self and of course, have fun!

- Lex

Please give your comments, do you agree, do you have another piece of advice to add? Are you interested in a certain subject you want to Lex to write about? Please share in the comments below!


Anonymous said...

Hey Lex - great post!

As a single guy in Montreal, I am used to doing all the work when it comes to breaking the ice with women. So it is nice to see the opposite sex do it as well (because it happens so rarely).

The way I figure it, the guy should break the ice 90% of the time. If a woman just does it once or twice - you give guys so much encouragement (just a smile or some eye contact or a little joke), and you will definitely meet more men.

Some people are out and just have blank expressions or even worse look angry! No guy wants to approach someone like that.

The more receptive you seem, the more men will want to come talk to you.

Keep bloggin!

John Voulieris

N. said...

To the loser that keeps on posting "whore" comments on my blog - STOP IT NOW. This is my BLOG, stop being a child and go be childish AWAY from my blog and STOP BOTHERING LEX! This is harassment.