Sunday, 21 November 2010

Girl Guy Friendships

This has been a long discussed subject, many people don't believe in girl - guy friendships, others do. I must say I am one of those girls that does believe in it. I believe in it because I have many guy friends with whom it has always been a very platonic relationship.
Take one of my best friends for instance, let's call him Jack. Jack and I have been friends since we're kids. We grew up together, went to the same schools and camps, both our families have cottages right next to each other. A few years ago, Jack and one of my best girls friends really kicked it off and decided to date. I can't tell you how long that relationship went for, but I estimate 3-4 years. It made me happier that I could see them at the same time and spend some quality time with the two of them. But that relationship didn't last, and I still kept both friends very close.
Jack turned into my confidante, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my buddy when I needed a good night out. He's not perfect and I would never date him, just because I'm not really attracted to him that way. Why? I don't know. It just is that way. And I know that Jack feels the same way for me. Some people look at us and believe we are a couple, just because we speak to each other with so much ease. I tell him when I think he's out of line or when I think he's making a fool out of himself. And he calls me out too. We make a good duo, but more like brother and sister, than girlfriend and boyfriend.
Of course, the men in my life have never been big fans of Jack, but I'm hoping one day that I do find that man who will really enjoy Jack.. and of course the day that I will really enjoy Jack's girlfriend. For now, except for my best friend, I haven't been a big fan of the women Jack has been with. (They usually aren't fans of me...). But you ask any of my or Jack's friends, and they can all tell you that we are JUST FRIENDS, have always been and will always be.
Now Im thinking that this might be an exception. I do also have other great relationships like this with other guys...and I love it. It's very different than a woman + woman friendship. It's a change of pace, a change in activities, a change in conversation, and I must say, I always appreciate the "man's point of vue!" I was saying, I believe this might be an exception. That I am an exception. That I am capable of having just guy friends with no further expectations. I need to add that a few years ago I was more overweight, 30 pounds more than what I weigh now. I didn't really have much of a love life and so I decided to build friends instead. Girls, guys... But I must say it was much easier for me to make guy friends. I was less confident, and tried to just be really nice, not flirty and so ... I was capable of gettin in as a friend and nothing else. Most girls I know who have guy friends... well something has happened. EIther the guy fell for the girl and they had some drunken sex or shared a passionate kiss, or the other way around. (This has happened to me too, to then realize this guy wasn't really a "friend" at all, but more of a "potential lover"). Many say that it is impossible that a guy be friends with a woman without actually picturing her naked. Well, that might be possible...but since I'm not a man, I can't really say if that's true.
But what I know is that these friendships can be tricky and chances are that maybe one day one person will fall for the other. It can become upsetting if ever one falls for the other because you lose that real friendship, but sometimes it just turns out that both actually fall for each other. And doesn't everyone want that? Don't most people want to be with their best friends? Well. I don't want to be with mine, but I guess everyone is different. But then again, who says Jack will be my best friend forever, chances are that I will have another guy best friend come by, and he just might be the exact best friend I was looking for. The one I want to spend my life with.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really wonder who is this "Jack" guy and this "girl friend" of yours?!... lol
From personal experience, i have trouble with girl-guy friendship... I guess it's different for everyone :)
- Laurence