Thursday, 25 November 2010

Easier said than done..

I was reading over my previous posts and wow do I have an ideal of what relationships should be like...

I decided to write this post because I don't want to seem like the prophet that knows all and does all. I'm not perfect and even though that I think my advice is pretty good, I don't always take my own advice. You know what they say, do as I say, not as I do! Also in the following post, I know I might seem to be contradicting myself a little, but I'm just offering another point of view.

Of course, my ideal would be to respect all the great advice I have been giving and I do make efforts every day to actually respect this advice. But I'm fully aware that most of what I say is easier said than done.

Isn't that too bad though? Or maybe not. We know what the right decision is in our brain, but our heart thinks something completely different. Our brain knows what is right and was is wrong, but when it comes to action and to actually do something about it, it's as if our brain turns off. We act in the opposite direction. We follow our heart. Even though the heart doesn't always point in the theoretically right direction.

No one is perfect and with the advice I give, we would all be perfect little people, always doing the right thing at the right time. Wouldn't it be boring? It's the problems that challenge us, it's feeling torn, not really knowing the how to act on the right decision that define us as individuals. As unique individuals. Some are capable to love, some find it more difficult. All depends on our past experiences, relationships, adventures and fantasies. Some have more self confidence and are capable of acting rationally. Others act emotionally. It doesn't mean that any of those decisions are right or wrong - they are right for us and we take them knowing the consequences (or not wanting to see the consequences) of our actions.

No one wants to be sad, or upset, or disappointed. No one wants to settle, or find themselves in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. But I believe we put ourselves in positions to actually feel these emotions. To learn from them. But sometimes we learn and sometimes we do repeat them. "Learning from your mistakes" is a perfect situation. How many times do we repeat the same mistakes, hoping for a different outcome, hoping that this time around, results will be different. We act on thrill. Not really knowing the outcome, not really knowing if the decision we make will turn out well, provides a certain thrill. This is probably why we repeat it. We let our emotions take over. Life is short and it can be so much more interesting to be rebellious than always picking the rationally right path.

I just got back from an interesting evening with my friend S. S. is a commitment phobe, a woman, with different opinions than my own and with an different outlook. Im trying to convince her to rebuttal some of my posts and give another point of view. Maybe a more realistic one. What if you never find that "perfect man"? she tells me. What if perfection doesn't exist? What if you should stick around that commitment phobe and maybe that person is really right for you, but maybe just not right now? She might be right. There isn't just one way to everything.

So as my last words of wisdom...I guess you really got take some and leave some. No matter what anyone tells you, we will always decide with our heart, whatever the consequences may be. Mind as well live life to it's fullest without regrets than always choosing the safe way. Outcomes are unknown and doesn't that just make everything so much more exciting?

N.

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